I'm convinced that if I could see inside my uterus, it would be black and blue. This baby is a hearty kicker and puncher, when it wants to be. Usually, the baby makes relaxed turns and little sweeping motions, causing my bump to ripple and move. However, several times a week, the baby seems to throw a tantrum of sorts, doubling me over with pain.
Yesterday, I was cuddling with Zoe the Chihuahua watching the pilot of Once Upon a Time. Zoe, completely uninterested in the show, dozed off. Meanwhile, the baby, enraged by one thing or another, decided to jab me in the ovary with a foot. Jab, stamp, curb-stomp. It was unexpected and ridiculously painful. I yelled out in shock. Poor Zoe was startled out of her adorable sleep, looking at me as though I were insane. I apologized to her, tucking her into a blanket. She nodded off once more, only to be awoken again by my cry of agony as the baby laid the smack down for the second time in five minutes.
Seriously? Does he have a knife or throwing stars or a mace in there?
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