If I had a super power right now, it would be super smelling. Let me clarify; I'm not super smelly, my nose just happens to pick up every odour, good or bad, within a three kilometre radius.
Given my druthers, super smelling would not be my super power of choice. Sure, perhaps I could act as a drug-sniffing dog for the fuzz, or determine the expiry dates of unlabeled food. But what good would a floaty cape and tights be then?
The bus ride to work has become a game of "guess that smell"...each house offering a new and unique opportunity to hone my olfactory system. Sniff, sniff, smokers live there. Sniff, sniff, someone is Nairing their legs. Sniff, sniff, cooking garlic! Passing by a meat shop, I was treated to an early morning whiff of pepperoni and it was delightful!
When the odour lingers, however, my little game becomes a battle of wills...the will not to call out fellow passengers for their overpowering perfume, stale stank of cigarettes or rancid B.O. Breathing through my mouth feels unnatural and dries out my already dehydrated piehole. Nausea takes hold and on more than one occasion, I've burst off the bus at my stop, gasping for fresh air.
Work also provides a number of peculiar olfactory experiences...from the overwhelming fug of children's sweaty feet emanating from the Matrix to the lingering odour of an ill-maintained shared fridge. More times than I count on my fingers, I've gagged or held my breath before escaping to a less offensive environment.
Hiding my distaste and masking my reactions is a challenge; I'm waiting for the day I projectile vomit as a result of an olfactory assault. Maybe that's the ticket!
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